Voicemail in its entirety from Kim today:

"I'M NOT LEAVING A MESSAGE."

What to do when you're bored

"Oh yea Alli - - - if you want to get cheap Broadway tickets just wait in that ticket line in Times Square. You could have one person wait in line and the other person could go to a store, take a nap, go to the bathroom... well that's at least what I would do"

"I don't deal in hypotheticals"

Life Lessons

"That's just the nature of the beast"
-Kim Kaiser re: automobiles

Live Lessons in Advertising & Saving Money

"I just got a subscription to Business Week" - Alli
"Wait, wait, something you have to REMEMBER is that you should wait until the LAST MINUTE to purchase a subscription - because they lower the price!" - Kim
"Ok Dad - good call" - Alli
"Because, I don't know if you know this, but publishers don't make money on subscriptions, they make money on the ADVERTISING IN THEM! So the more people that buy subscriptions, the more money they'll make in advertising" - Kim
"Dad - I'm not a ruh-tard - I work in ONLINE ADVERTISING - In fact, I work for a PUBLISHER - I understand how it works" - Alli

Text Kim, he LOVES it

Texts exchanged between Kim and myself today

E: my car started!
K: great
E: game tomorrow is on espn... I've got miller lites chilling in the fridge
K: awesome
E: beaUUUUtiful
K: lma

*Note: lma = leave me alone

Quiznos slash Male Strip Club

"Where did you get those utensils? Oh I know - you got those back at GIGALOS!"



Gigalos = Quiznos