Car ride to the Shack

Location: Brand spankin new Lexus
Destination: The Shack for Kim's usual "Bacon Omelet, hold the cheese"

Conversation:

"ALLI! What are you doing??" - Kim
"Uh just adjusting the seat" - Alli
"Oh... I thought for SURE you would be throwing out some gum wrapper into the side pocket of this car - - NOT ALLOWED!!!" - Kim
"Don't you think I've learned that by now?" - Alli

As if...

Email from Kim to Greg and Allison:

"It's down to you two, could someone explain to me how the front license plate come off the Explorer and how the front bumper got cracked??"

As if we would ever dare to accidentally damage one of Kim's cars and just FORGET to tell him. Nice try Kimbo - blame the parking lot at the Uconn football game, not your children!!!

You know you need to get your hearing checked when...

E: Black Sheep
K: Glass sheet?

2010 Christmas List

Wireless drill
Speakers for computer
popcorn (cheese)
Frosty's 1/2 chocolate and 1/2 vanilla
Calendar
Leather air freshener from Yankee Candle

No clothes please as I have too many now.

Could I be any clearer?

Email from me to Dad:

"Hey - the Michigan game is on at 12pm"

Return email from Dad to me:

"Do you mean, it is at 12:00 noon?"





... what else would 12pm mean!???!???

Re-launching

Kim taking on the popcorn... round 2... probably only 1 more round to go after this

Also reaction to the blog

"Elaine, die."

Popcorn for any time of the day

Kimbo at about 9:30am at the Shack after ordering his usual bacon omelet (hold the cheese... he's watching his diet)

"I really LAUNCHED into that popcorn this morning"

Reaction to the Blog (Alternate title: Questions with Obvious Answers)

"WHY?????????????????????????? WHY??????????????????????? WHY ME??????????????"

The Joy of Genes

Like father:

















Like daughter:

It's that time of year again!

Leaves
You vile weed
For you are no friend
I blow you to the woods,
again and again

boogie woogie woogie

Innnnernet

Email from Kim Kaiser, no subject:

Alli?

<-- This way to the Kimbo exhibit

Context, as provided by Bill O'Neil: So, Laura replied to Kim from an e-mail I'd forwarded to her where I referred to him as Kimbo, and he saw it. His reaction is below - thought I'd share.

"Why do people refer to me as KIMBO? It sounds like an animal!!!!!!!!!!!! Why not just Uncle Kim, or The Greatest?"

"I Love You, Iced Tea" By Kim Kaiser

I love You, Iced Tea
Since the day I was young
You’ve tickled my tongue,
In the warmest of all summer days.

You quench my thirst
And give me a burst,
But I guess that’s your natural way.

Now I sit down
To have me a glass
But something just seems off.

I look around,
And there it is,
That magical, magical pink stuff.

You set me free
And let me be me,
And for this, I love you,
My love, iced tea

"Leaves" By Kim Kaiser

You vile weed,
For you are no friend.
I blow you to the woods,
Again and again.

You sneak in my car,
You attach to my dog.
You litter the drive,
And the gutters you clog.

I blow you away
And I constantly sweep
No time to eat,
No time to sleep.

For I must remain
One step ahead.
If I drag just a little
I’m better off dead.

Sleepless nights,
I think of your fate.
Waiting for dawn,
On my mower I wait.

No DOUBT!

Kim: "Well let's just try to keep that on the QT"
Alli: "The QT? What's the QT?"
Kim: "Uh... Qui-et. The Quiet!"
Alli: "Did you meant to say DL? As in Down Low?"
Kim: "Yea! Let's keep it on the DL DAWWWGGG!"

One Large Vanilla Cone Please

Post 'extra meat filled lobster rolls' at Capt Scott's

"Guess where we're going NEXT? MICHAEL'S for some ICCEEE CREAAAMMMM!!! YEAA DAWWGGG!! (insert fist pump)" - Kim J. Kaiser

To Kim, there's no such thing as a "missed call"

I call Dad from the Rockies game. He picks up and shouts "ALLI! I'm driving down the road right now with an ice cream cone in one hand and the other with my cell phone - I'm, I'm just gonna have to call you back OKAY???"

Yeah dawg!!!

Bill: Went to the Sox game with your mom and Kimbo on Friday.

Bill: Well if you ever want to see Kim get really happy, buy him a helmet full of ice cream. He was pumped.

UPDATE

Kim comes into my room "I figured instead of emailing I'd take a walk down here" ya know, all the way down the hallway from his room to mine.

Then the killer: "I think I'm going to take Sunday out."

What is he going to do when I move out? Actually hire a secretary?

"Elaine, can you make me a new schedule. The one I've got has allll these black marks on it. I mean, I I I I can't see anything!" He then pulls out his old schedule...
"See allll this (he's now pointing to each black spot) here and here and here. It's.. ugh.. it's just no good."

So I make him his new weekly schedule, Monday thru Saturday just like the old one, and email it to him to see if it's okay because I KNOW there is going to be something he wants to change about it (and this is after I asked him to sketch me out what he wanted and he refused).

His email response back: "Do they have a Sunday?"

Who is they?!

Typical Phone Convo

Well Alli, thanks for calling I appreciate it... And I REALLY appreciate that you called when there wasn't any GARBAGE noise in the background. So I guess I'll uh... I'll see ya when I see ya!!

Internet prowess

A recent series of emails about his website:

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Betsey --> Kim
Do you use the same email for the website (xxxxx@yahoo.com) or do you have a separate one for new england mobility? we're fixing the contact form, which i think is why your number of emails went down. let me know today if possible!

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Kim --> Betsey
Do not know if I have a separate e-mail address. I thought newenglandmobility.net no?

-------------------------------------

Betsey --> Kim
But you said that you weren't getting a lot of emails from the website... so what email account were you checking to know whether or not emails were coming in?

-------------------------------------

Kim --> Betsey
Is newenglandmobility.net an e-mail address? If so I have been getting very few e-mails.

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Betsey --> Kim
www.newenglandmobility.net is your website, not your email address. did emails from interested clients come into your xxxxx@yahoo.com or do you have a different one that's like, newenglandmobility@hotmail.com or something? conclusion: when you check your emails do you only check xxxxx@yahoo.com or is there another account that you only have for emails from the website?

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Kim --> Betsey

The only e-mail that I check is xxxxx@yahoo.com

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Betsey --> Kim
ok

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Kim --> Betsey
Sorry about all the confusion but consider who you are dealing with... An imbecile

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