"I've got a 6-pack of whoopass with your name on it"

Mistakes

"I've only made one mistake this year... wanna know what it is? I thought I made a mistake but I really didn't." (repeat at least 10 times/year with clever chuckle of satisfaction each time)

Elaine: I'm surprised he didn't sneak an electric light timer in there too
Allison : Oh yea - I forgot about that lunch day
Betsey: At least he didn't send you to school with DOG KIBBLE

Haven't heard THIS one before...

Kim Jr.

Sadie-Say

As Sadie hobbles around the corner and trots up to Dad sleeping on the couch...

"Sadie - where ya been?"

irish bumper cars

Bern- "Did you just hit that guy's mirror?"

Kim- "... YEAH!"